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982: Not Dwelling On Things

I have no feelings & not many memories. I’m not a very retrospective person.

It always amazes me that so many people remember every—cross every 't' & dot every 'i'.

Not me.

Opposite our flat in Berlin was a children’s playground with a sandpit.

I do remember clearly they had yellow benches where Jews were not allowed to sit.

In 1933, when I was 5, we went to France for 6 months, to Nice.

I remember my 6 months in Nice where I had my appendix out.

I always remember that [laughs].

[The family returned to Berlin. Gerta was 10 when she went alone to Belgium in February 1939]

I seem to remember doing some crying. Belgium was not a happy period.

The families I stayed with first were terrible.

So I went back to Brussels to stay a little while with my aunt.

Then I went somewhere else, & then – it’s all very vague.

[In August 1939 Gerta came to London to join her mother & brother]

I can’t remember arriving.

I can't remember if I spoke any English, I suppose I must have learnt it."

[The family settled in Harrow but were forced to move in 1940]

Harrow became what was known as a protected area. No bloody foreigners.

Northolt Airport was not very far. My mother was sent to tribunal. She made the best category.

She went to live in London & had various jobs in hotels so that she had accommodation.

Then she had this job as a housekeeper in Epsom to a very, very nice family with whom we remained friends until they both died.

I didn’t see my mother much during the War really.

I was under 16 so because of school I stayed on with my guardian Miss Hollingsworth & then others in Harrow.

I was very grateful.

I slept for a time in what they called these shelters. Indoor metal shelters, like a cage.

No special fuss was made of me at school.

There were no other Jewish girls there.

I don’t dwell on the past. I don’t have the obsession.

The past is the past.

If it makes people happy, fine. But it’s not my scene.

I live in the present. I don’t need to harp back to what was.

[Gerta became a teacher, a secretary, an editor & a proofreader.]

[She worked at the Wiener Library for many years & for The AJR, proofreading its Journal]

I have an eagle-eye.

The strange thing is one’s own mistakes one misses. But other people’s mistakes I beam in on.

[Today Gerta's flat is still full of her family furniture from Germany]

I’ve always enjoyed that very much, having that. And my teddy bear.

But he was actually my mother’s teddy bear, he’s sitting up there on top of my bookshelf.

He came with her from Germany. He survived.

He was a little poorly so I had him patched up a little. When I’m lying in bed I look at him.

He never had a name. I'm very fond of him.

There’s also a little French doll—which is disintegrating entirely, he’s called Armand—which I was given when I had my appendix out.

My message to the future is: just keep on going.

I have no idea what helped me create a new life in the UK.

Sanity [laughs]? Ordinariness. Can’t tell you.

How does one know that about oneself? I’m a fairly organised person.

And I don't like to dwell on things.

Gerta Regensburger came to Britain in 1939 via a Belgium Kindertransport:
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Gerta Regensburger came to Britain in 1939 via a Belgium Kindertransport:


"I have no feelings & not many memories. I’m not a very retrospective person. It always amazes me that so many people remember every—cross every 't' & dot every 'i'. Not me. 


Opposite our flat in Berlin was a children’s playground with a sandpit. I do remember clearly they had yellow benches where Jews were not allowed to sit.


In 1933, when I was 5, we went to France for 6 months, to Nice. I remember my 6 months in Nice where I had my appendix out. I always remember that [laughs]."


The family returned to Berlin. Gerta was 10 when she went alone to Belgium in February 1939:


"I seem to remember doing some crying. Belgium was not a happy period. The families I stayed with first were terrible. So I went back to Brussels to stay a little while with my aunt. Then I went somewhere else, & then – it’s all very vague."


In August 1939 Gerta came to London to join her mother & brother.


"I can’t remember arriving. I can't remember if I spoke any English, I suppose I must have learnt it."


The family settled in Harrow but were forced to move in 1940:


"Harrow became what was known as a protected area. No bloody foreigners. Northolt Airport was not very far. My mother was sent to tribunal. She made the best category. She went to live in London & had various jobs in hotels so that she had accommodation. Then she had this job as a housekeeper in Epsom to a very, very nice family with whom we remained friends until they both died.


I didn’t see my mother much during the War really. I was under 16 so because of school I stayed on with my guardian Miss Hollingsworth & then others in Harrow. I was very grateful. I slept for a time in what they called these shelters. Indoor metal shelters, like a cage. No special fuss was made of me at school. There were no other Jewish girls there. I don’t dwell on the past. I don’t have the obsession. The past is the past. If it makes people happy, fine. But it’s not my scene. I live in the present. I don’t need to harp back to what was."


Gerta became a teacher, a secretary, an editor & a proofreader. She worked at the Wiener Library for many years & for The AJR, proofreading its Journal:


"I have an eagle-eye. The strange thing is one’s own mistakes one misses. But other people’s mistakes I beam in on."


Today Gerta's flat is still full of her family furniture from Germany:


"I’ve always enjoyed that very much, having that. And my teddy bear. But he was actually my mother’s teddy bear, he’s sitting up there on top of my bookshelf. He came with her from Germany. He survived. He was a little poorly so I had him patched up a little. When I’m lying in bed I look at him. He never had a name. I'm very fond of him. There’s also a little French doll—which is disintegrating entirely, he’s called Armand—which I was given when I had my appendix out.


My message to the future is: just keep on going. I have no idea what helped me create a new life in the UK. Sanity [laughs]? Ordinariness. Can’t tell you. How does one know that about oneself? I’m a fairly organised person. And I don't like to dwell on things."

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982: Not Dwelling On Things

Text adapted and edited by Susanna Kleeman


1000 memories logo.png

982: Not Dwelling On Things

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